Online Dating Reviews
By Neil Wagner
Ready to take the plunge into online dating? Navigating the array of offerings can be every bit as bewildering as your first date probably was. Fortunately, relief is available. Here are reviews of 15 popular sites.
SOME BASICS: Sites offer varying levels of companionship, from pen-pal to the hot and steamy variety. Religion based sites tend to frown on the lustier relationships, as well as same sex ones. A free membership will generally allow you to post your profile/picture, view the profile/picture of other members and to receive e-mail. You usually cannot send e-mail to other members but are allowed to show interest in prospective partners (winks, smiles). Sending e-mail and other privileges require a paid membership. $20-30 a month is the standard fee range. A cynic would point to this as another example of the passing of the era of free love but cynics rarely prosper at the online dating game.
THE SITES
1) BigChurch.com: It's both controversial and confusing. Some people question its religious credibility (see christiandatingservice.com). Free member's privileges depend on a combination of popularity, accumulated points and complex rules. Points are earned from "certain activities" or may be purchased at 1000/$10 (sending an e-mail costs 200 points). Do you really want to join a site where it's not clear what you can and can't do? Dating was pretty complicated to begin with. Maybe the 450,000+ members and 7,000+ blogs will sway you to join.
2) ChristianCafé.com: You only get a 10 day free trial here but you can make the most of it: Not only are you allowed to send e-mail, their main tip is to send lots of it.
I very quickly got 200 matches to my "ideal partner" rated at 85% or over. Be warned, you must fill out an extremely long personal questionnaire with essay questions. The site is very slow to send you your password. It claims you'll get it in 20 minutes but it took at least six hours. This may be a sign that they believe in slowly nurtured relationships.
3) Date.com: Quality is the pitch here. "Professional, dedicated, serious members". They claim to have millions of singles. This is probably because the singles are reading the mass of expert advice about dating and relationships instead of actually trying to hook up with someone. The word "fun" isn't seen much, relations are serious business here. If you look at forming them as a task rather than an adventure, you'll have lots of company. My computer crashed twice while on this site. Not sure if this is a bug or an undocumented feature which keeps non-quality folks away.
4) eHarmony.com: If you find a partner here, he or she will certainly be a patient one because there are 11 sections of personal information to fill out. A great site to find someone who mirrors your beliefs and personality-or is your exact opposite, if that's what you want. This is the spot for people who see a person's exterior as mere packaging and wants to know what's at the core. Just be sure you possess 11 sections of personal information; most people I know are much shallower.
5) FriendFinder.com: There's romance in the air here as well as friendship. Boasts over 1.5 million members. Extremely quick signup process. Unlike many other sites, you can view other member's photos without even joining. Free membership also grants access to blogs, chat rooms and interest groups. Popular and interesting members have e-mail sending privileges. Great site to join with a few friends, there's a "my testimonials" section where people can say nice things about you. It would be great if resumes used this system.
6) Catholicmatch.com: It doesn't ask for much personal data but quizzes you extensively on various issues of Catholic doctrine, so be prepared. You must divulge your ethnicity. For all this, Catholic tolerance reigns: You will be granted membership even if you claim disbelief in each and every Catholic tenet. This might not leave you much to talk about with the members but they can still send you a smile. This is called an "Emotigram" encounter. The place to be if you're a Catholic linguist.
7) Singlenet.com: This isn't an online dating site but has links to all the dating sites you'll probably ever need. The top searches here are Divorced Singles, Singles American and American Singles dating, while the most preferred are Dating Jewish, Singles Dating Services and Singles Chat. Lots of ethnic themed sites, particularly Indian and South Asian. A good place to get an overview of online dating/chatting possibilities, or to join several sites at once if you're feeling unusually desperate.
8) Jdate.com: For Jewish singles. Same sex OK. Are you a flirter? Then this one's for you. Free membership entitles you to send 30 flirts a day. The writing challenged among you will love it because only (their) pre-composed flirts can be sent. There's not much else to do for free; you can't even receive e-mail. Paid membership is a hefty $35/month or $150/year, so you've really got to pay to play. Perhaps the nearly 50:50 male/female ratio will encourage you. You're even ask for your zodiac sign.
9) Relationships.com: Formerly called ChristianMingle; claims to be the largest network of Christian singles. If you're a free member, you're going to stay single because there's no contact allowed with other members, you can only browse their photos. For $25 a month or $80 for six months you can access the more useful features. If that's too steep, maybe you can get membership as a Christmas gift from a loved one. Oh, I forgot-- that's why you wanted to join in the first place.
10) True.com: Ideal for the post-9/11 world, it promises safer, online dating. "We can't guarantee criminals won't get on the site but we can guarantee they'll be sorry if they do." The use of background checks for felons and (gasp!) married people take the meaning of "safe sex "to an entirely new level. If you're the sort who seems to always attract weirdoes (and you know who you are), how can you pass this up? Ten million members and not a single threat!
11) Yahoopersonals.com (Personals.yahoo.com): A seven day membership is free, but the site is not real forthcoming about what happens after that time period. Really tough navigating the menus and getting information here. Some of this is because it's a real extensive site; who hasn't heard of Yahoo? You can post voice or video greetings and up to five photos. It's probably best just to search member profiles and look for a match (that is why you signed up, isn't it?) and leave the site exploration to the more computer savvy.
12) Lavalife.com: Caters to the younger crowd, as anyone who's seen a Lavalife commercial can testify. Choose dating/relationship or intimate. No paid memberships, instead you must purchase "Lavalife credits" to start a conversation with someone. It costs six credits to send an e-mail ($1.20-$1.80). The smallest number of credits you can purchase is 50 for $15. Lavalife magazine has a sex advice column which answers such time honored questions as "What's the best way to hook up with a wrestler?" and "What's the secret to looking good in spandex?" If I were only a few years younger....
13) Udate.com: Based in the UK, don't let it throw you when you're asked for your birth date in European format (date, month and year). Unlike the safe sex advocated by True.com, here you're advised to be active. Don't be offended, the site is only telling you to communicate with lots of members. Communication is limited to asking members to send you an e-mail. You get matches pretty quickly here but be sure to check the filters every page; they have a habit of resetting. My first match lives in Cheboksaryl, Russia and that has to be more than 50 miles away. .
14) Mingles.com: The first choice is whether to go for the friendly/dating area or the steamy, adult matchmaking area with sexually themed content and nudity. Go ahead, I won't look. You can't be in both. You can send e-mails, which is maybe the best reason to become a member. You have to select a 10 year wide age group when searching for a match; some may find this restrictive. No mention of subscription, this one's really free. Jump on it.
15) Cupidjunction.com: The signup screen's shocking pink, so the site is probably looking for a few good women. If you can get a member to send you an e-mail, you're allowed to e-mail them back, so try to be interesting. There's no charge to respond to an e-mail but there is a price; it's very heavy on ads here, both popup and other types. The first one usually comes before you're done signing up. If these don't bother you, it's worth a shot.
